Guilt
by BuBuWinter
Summary: A series of one-shots based on feelings and deep thoughts. (Not much of a summary, but the writing's at least decent, whether it's good is your choice :P Someone send me a request, I'm currently blank of ideas!)
1. Guilt

**So this is just a little thing between Blackstar and Littlecloud. Right now its just a one-shot, but I might add more if I get a few reviews or something. I don't want it to be one of those things I write and no one likes though. SO REVIEWW please :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC's.  
**

**Note: If you wish to suggest something that has an OC, gimme looks and personality, and if you wanted something specific done or not. I am willing to just puke something up, but if you wanted a love story between two cats, be sure to tell me. (Sorry I didn't specify this in time Wolf that howls at eclipse..xD)**

Blackstar watched Littlecloud as the medicine cat paced impatiently outside his den. A meeting at the island? Something important that Firestar _must _tell all the leaders about? Has the old cat gone mad? The Shadowclan leader shook his head. It was always obvious to him that the small cat has some sort of loyalty to Thunderclan. Always defending those mouse-hearts...all because of what? Because some she-cat saved his life.

"Blackstar are you ready?" Littlecloud called, an impatient growl in his voice. With an agitated sigh the black footed tom cat walked slowly out of his den and out the camp entrance, not bothering to acknowledge his medicine cat.

It wasn't so much that Blackstar no longer trusted or appreciated his medicine cat, but the mere fact that Littlecloud continues to defend Thunderclan as though it were his life. Giving his life for Cinderpelt would be one thing, but she died a long time ago now. Now he wants to die for her clan? What happened to loyalty to _Shadowclan?_

Deep in his heart, Blackstar already knew that answer. Littlecloud has see much pain in his days as a Shadowclan cat, from Brokenstar's death-filled leadership to the death of the cat everyone knew he loved. He wasn't even respected by his clanmates until he became the medicine cat apprentice, and even then there were so few who trusted his judgment or cared completely for his well being.

Over the moons, however, Littlecloud has grown into one of the wisest and one of the most respected cats in the clans. The thought sent a pride through Blackstar. Littlecloud was Shadowclan's medicine cat, and the clan could never ask for a better healer.

"Why are we going to the island anyways?" Blackstar growled, still wondering why Firestar would have anything to say to the other leaders.

"He has something he wants to say to everyone." Was all the medicine cat said.

An agitated growl escaped Blackstar's throat. "I mean it Littlecloud. What's going on?"

The small tabby hesitated, then with a decisive shake of his head, he opened his mouth and told the old leader what was on his mind.

"The cats from the Dark Forest have found a way to travel beyond their borders and into our lands. There's a danger Blackstar. Right now, that's all I can really say."

Confusion swept through the Shadowclan leader. Cats of the Dark Forest straying onto _his _land?

"Dark Forest cats?" The leader echoed. "Why? What purpose do they have in invading our lands?"

Littlecloud sighed and shook his head again. Suddenly Blackstar was looking at a cat who was old beyond his years. A cat who was always older than he should've been.

"Think about it. These cats are from the darkest times of Clan history. The ones who caused the most bloodshed. The ones we tell our kits to make sure they stay out of trouble."

The medicine cat shivered. With a twinge of nervousness Blackstar remembered how unforgivably harsh he once was to his medicine cat. He remembered how many cats he killed with his long claws and scarred paws. He closed his eyes, trying to block out those thoughts, trying to reassure himself that he wasn't that cat anymore.

"How can you be sure? Littlecloud you've had nightmares about Brokenstar and Clawface before. Is it possible your mixing dreams with reality?"

Littlecloud spun around, his blue eyes as cold and hard as ice, his voice as cool as an icy river.

"I've once thought that myself," he whispered, staring into his leaders eyes. "That my dreams somehow connected with reality, or that my reality was just a dream. Ever since I was a naive kit I asked myself if my life was just a dream, and if my dreams were my true reality. But no, I've learned the difference. _This _is my reality, and my dreams are just that: dreams."

He turned around and started walking again. Blackstar watched his medicine cat, an indescribable feeling pricking his heart. Littlecloud didn't know what love was, his mother always away when he was a kit and his father he never met. His siblings, dead. His friends, gone. His leader, unforgivable. How did the medicine cat remain standing? How did he manage to go on? Strength, the leader realized. His medicine cat was strong and he always pushed forward, never giving way to the grief that always plucked at his heart. But it wasn't just that. Was it also hope? Did hope give the medicine cat his strength, or was it something else?

He thought about the silly names the kits would give each other to give one another strength during Brokenstar's rein. Littlecloud was one of the strongest and oldest at that time, and one of the kindest, he reflected. Surely his names were among the more heroic? Blackstar closed his eyes. He thought of Littleloud as a young kit, going around the sleeping bodies of young kits a murmuring words to them as if a mother or father would to their kin. It's not too late...never too late...

Blackstar remembered these words. His daughter, Dreampaw, had told him this. The words of the small yet strong kit that would always allow the kits to slumber peacefully. She didn't give his name though, not his real name. The name she had said was Hopestar.

Hopestar...the hope of the kits. The strong one who would never kill and took the beatings for it. The one who would stand up for what was right and not care for the consequences.

Was Hopestar really Littlecloud? Even as a kit he was so timid, so naive. Did the rumors of Hopestar really match Littlecloud's personality? Blackstar thought of the word strength again as he looked at Littlecloud. No, he never stood up for the other kits in the way the rumors said, but in a different way. Hope was his strength, just as he had thought before, and his name was Hopestar. Finally he realized what that indescribable feeling was.

Guilt.

"Littlecloud..." the Shadowclan leader began awkwardly.

The medicine cat looked back, the cold look in his eyes gone.

"Yes?"

"Do you forgive me?"

The question caught the medicine cat by surprise. He already knew what the elderly leader was talking about, but still he asked "For what?"

"For the deaths I caused. I know you never expected me to be a good leader, and I know you probably don't even think I am a good leader...but do you forgive me for what I did?"

Littlecloud stopped in his tracks. In all honesty, the thought of Blackstar's dark past has never crossed his mind since the start of the Great Journey. But the question wasn't if he remembered or not, it was if he had forgiven him.

"Blackstar, Starclan gave you your nine lives didnt they? They gave you the right to be leader, and you fought on the side of Lionclan when Bloodclan threatened to take over. Mistyfoot, the sister of Stonefur, your greatest guilt, is now Mistystar. Ice can be unforgiving, Blackstar, but it melts away after a time."

The leader looked reassured at last and he gave the medicine cat a gentle lick across the ear. "The right as leader should've been your though. You would do far batter than me." He leaped up onto the tree-bridge, but looked back. "Now I see why you were once called Hopestar."

Littlecloud walked onto the island with his head held high although the journey must have worn him out. Perhaps his brothers and sisters were right...maybe he did give hope to others...


	2. New Start

**Another one-shot focusing on Blackstar all while introducing a few of my OC's, my main one Redifre. This is taking place on the Great Journey while they were trapped on the mountains. Enjoyyyyy!**

Blackstar sat there silently, alone, the spray of the waterfall blowing in his amber-eyed face. He let out a sigh, allowing the thoughts to bubble over him. How many more mistakes was he going to make? He was a leader, and he lost his clans home. He was a deputy, and he killed kits along side his leader. He was a father, and he let his family perish.

Growling he shook his head in frustration. He was no cat, but a beast. A story parents would tell their kits so they wouldn't get in trouble. He looked at Littlecloud. The small cat slumbered peacefully close to Cinderpelt. So loyal he was too her, willing to give up his life to save her if the chance came. He was loyal to the kits he grew up with too, never a moment without one of their names going through their mind. A story parents would tell their kits as a sign of hope.

He growled once more. Was it right for him to treat his medicine cat with such disrespect, after all he's done and been through? Blackstar looked away from Littlecloud and found himself staring at the seemingly glowing she-cat he had called "best friend".

Redfire, the greatest hunter in the clans. Redfire, the tree-traveling marvel. Redfire, the first to see the good in Blackstar's eyes. The Shadowclan leader stared fondly at her ears that never stopped twitching. Such a beautiful she-cat, inside and out.

But was it her heart and charm that won her the title of his "best friend"? Or was it because she looked so awfully like his mate, with long ginger tabby fur and a white chest, brilliant blue eyes, and a soft, fluffy tail.

His mate was called Loveheart. Beautiful and loving, and a wonderful mother to Dreampaw, his daughter. Blackstar's daughter adopted his odd fur coloring, but has her mothers glowing eyes and lithe body. Crafty and caring. The only kit to escape the grip of Brokenstar.

Dreampaw ran away, and sadly Blackstar thought of Loveheart, and guilt pricked at him. He killed her, with his own claws. He murdered her, because he gave in to Brokenstar's threat. "Kill her, or I kill the kit."

Blackstar threw his head side to side, trying to keep the sobs from coming. So weak. So pathetic. So heartless. Why did Starclan give him the right as leader? Why did they give him nine lives? Why out faith in him when he had none for himself?

"You're up late." A voice commented from behind. Blackstar turned to see Thunderclan's very leader, Firestar.

"I'm Shadowclan, remember?" Blackstar muttered, turning back to the tumbling sheet of silver water. Blackstar knew too well he was good at hiding his emotions. Still, there was a risk of showing weakness.

There silence between the two leaders as they sat together, and Blackstar thought of that word. Weakness. Had he not just called himself weak right before Firestar's coming? He called himself weak, yet told himself he wouldn't show it to anyone, not even dear Redfire. Was it weakness that brought this on? Was it truly weak to show emotion?

"Somethings bothering you." Firestar commented, and Blackstar flinched. Perhaps his emotions had managed to seep through after all...

"Just the past, nothing I can't handle." he said sheepishly, still trying to stand proud.

"Well, the past is done, isn't it?" Firestar asked, looking at Blackstar with his emerald green eyes. "We're going to a new home, and once we're there, everyone will have a chance to start fresh."

Blackstar stared at Firestar as the Thunderclan leader walked away. Was he right? Was it just the past? He looked at Littlecloud, and wondered to himself if he could show the young medicine some well deserved respect. He looked at Redfire, and wondered if he could continue his play-filled meetings with her every night after full moon. Her ear twitched, and he purred. Even if he couldn't meet with dear Redfire at this new home, he would always love his best friend.

We walked over to the beautiful she-cat and laid close beside her, pressing his warm fur against her. Pressing his muzzle to her neck he whispered softly.

"I love you Twitches."

"Love you too Bigfoot." she murmured sleepily, opening one brilliant blue eye, and closed it again. Blackstar buried deeper into her fur. A new home, a fresh start...


	3. A Decision

**One-shot of my OC, Redfire. Enjoy!**

Redfire sat there, alone, staring at the soft ripples of the lake. She heard a mouse scurrying a few tail lengths away, but she didn't give chase. She heard the song of a nightingale high in the trees, but she didn't bother to climb up a tree and try to "fly" after it. She heard fish swimming in the smooth water, but she didn't swoop in for a bite.

She was the greatest hunter in the clans, but she didn't feel like running through this unknown territory. The clans might have agreed to settle here, but it wasn't home. It would never be home. Home was over the mountains in a forest with no large mass of water standing in the middle. Home was where she could jump from tree to tree and keep a watchful eye on those below. Home she felt safe, but this...this land was so strange to her.

She knew every tree in the old forest, but not a single oak here. Redfire had tried to convince herself that wherever she went she would feel at home, but now that hope, that childish, naive hope, was beginning to fade.

"What are you doing so far from the others?" Blackstar's soft fur brushed her flank as his deep voice rang gently in her ears. She leaned against him, twining her fluffy ginger tail with his. "Are you feeling alright?" Her friend asked worriedly, brushing his muzzle against her twitching ear.

"I'm fine..." She rested her head against his shoulder. A rumbling purr came from him, the vibrations tickling her ear fur. His tongue grazed gently across her head. "Have I ever told you how much I love your ears?"

Redfire purred softly, looking up at him with sparking blue eyes. "Yes, all the time."

As Blackstar stared at the glowing beauty of his best friend, Redfire thought of the times they shared, with all the loving purrs and playful fights. It was always as if they were kits, playing and imagining what it's like to be an apprentice. Purring she rubbed her face against his chest. It was no wonder that others thought that they were mates.

They were simply best friends though, and nothing would change that, not clan boundaries nor anything else.

Doubt and nerves picked at her stomach though as she sat in silence with him. Even with her dearest friend beside her, she still didn't feel at home. The trees were still unfamiliar, the need to hunt was no longer there, the playful attitude between her and Blackstar hadn't come back yet.

"Blackstar?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't think I'll be able to settle here."

The Shdowclan leader turned to the Thunderclan warrior, a blend of confusion and fear melting the light from his amber eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't like it here. Blackstar you know how hard it is for me to adjust. What if I never get used to this...this lake..."

"Don't talk like that. You're making a fuss about nothing." Blackstar snapped, giving her cheek a comforting lick.

Redfire frowned. Was she just being a bratty, overdramatic she-cat, or was it the truth? She buried her face into Blackstar's chest. "I think I just need to travel around for a bit...get used to different surroundings..."

Blackstar opened his mouth as if to protest, but closed it again. Their friendship nearly died the last time they argued. He wasn't going to risk it again.

"It's your decision..." he whispered, pressing his muzzle against hers, and the pair stood like that for the rest of the night.

* * *

"Firestar, I have made a decision." Redfire stood up, padding toward her leader. Everyone began to murmur, wondering what the usually silent she-cat was going to say. Blackstar stared at Redfire, feeling his heart beat faster and faster.

"I have decided to leave the clans." Loud outbursts came out from behind her, but she kept her eyes forward, trying to shut out the noises of the others. Dustpelt burst forward, his eyes wide with disbelief. "You can't be serious!" He snapped, staring at his sister with round, pleading eyes. Pain struck her heart as she licked her brothers muzzle. "I'm sorry Dusty," she whispered. "I need to learn to adapt." She turbed her head and her eyes met Blackstar's. There was a strong pain in them, stronger than she can bear. She closed her vibrant blue eyes and cut a path through the crowd. She had to adapt...for her family...


	4. Longing

_**Sort of a little thing on my old OC, Songheart/star. I was writing a story about her, but the I found the storyline to be dull and her character too perfect. I might start it up again with my new writing style (which is a lot better than what it was) but I'm still not sure. R&R?:)**_

_**Told in my other OC's POV, Whitestar, leader of the clan Oceanclan.**_

_**Note: I did not steal names or clans from fansites or whatever, I created this when I was nine. Sorry if you feel a name has been stolen!**_

Songstar often stared out at the ocean, a certain longing in those breathtakingly gorgeous blue eyes. I first noticed this when she first became leader a short few moons ago, when both Moonstar and Sunriver passed during the Final Battle. She was the leader of Iceclan, but she wasn't born there. She wasn't of Iceclan, or Darkclan, who bordered the forest. She wasn't a part of Prairieclan, or my clan, Oceanclan, who bordered the sea. She came from a far off clan know as Shadowclan.

I'm not entirely sure what all this _Shadowclan _was about, but she was familiar with the warrior code. She admits from time to time that her clans were more...aggressive. "There were always border skirmishes," she would always say. "Shadowclan was always the least rich in food, so my father finds whatever chance he can get to obtain more land."

There was always a certain sense of pain whenever her father was mentioned. Blackstar was both her father and her leader. She often talks of how he wishes he never had a bloodied past and had a true sense of loyalty. She adored and loved her father deeply, from the very twinkle in her eye to the swish of that plush white tail, I can tell she will always feel that way.

There was another kin she loved deeply, one I had a great honor of meeting. It was her half-brother Littlecloud, a great and honorable young medicine cat. She came with him as they were part of a prophecy that would save our clans from the deadly merge of the wolf packs, Sol and Lun. But there were others that came on this journey. There was her mate, Oakfur, who had to go back home without her, and Leafpool, a dear friend of Littlecloud's. Rockheart had found them, or captured by them, when he strayed onto their territory. He was forced to come with them, which ultimately led him back home.

Now as I looked at the pure white she-cat, I wondered just how much she missed her home. Her real home. That longing in her eyes wasn't something I was used to seeing, not to this extent. Not to this hurt. She looked at me with those bright blue eyes and shook her head softly, standing and walking gracefully toward me. "Whitestar," she murmured softly, her tone musical and sweet to my ears. "Yes Songstar?"

"I wanted to discuss something with you before the Gathering..." I tried to detect the hurt in her eyes I saw before, but couldn't see anything. There was a selfish disappointment in the back of my heart to know it wasn't there. "Of course. If you ever need help with anything, just let me know, okay?" Her fur was soft as I laid my tail on her shoulder. Songstar's eyes glistened with relief and she licked my cheek gently, sending tingles down my spine at the touch. Then she turned and sat back down with her gaze toward the sea, and after a moment, I sat beside her and listened.


	5. Curious Love

**_A little thing about Jayfeather. He said that Leafpool and Littlecloud were close, and this is sorta how I envision it. R&R!:)_**

_The relationship between Littlecloud and Leafpool ran deep. _

That much I knew was true, but it wasn't until after the Dark Forest battle that I honestly thought about it. What was so special between them? Why so close? Why in the name of Starclan was I even thinking about it? Because Littlecloud was getting older, and I consider him not only a cat with a good heart, but a good friend.

I thought that their friendship was just something that happened between the two. They _did _know each other for a while. But it wasn't like that between Leafpool and Mothwing, it was like their relationship had some _deeper_ meaning to it.

Was it love? Did Leafpool fall in love with Littlecloud?

_No, _I decided,_ Littlecloud's sensible enough to not fall in love with another medicine cat. _

That's what I thought at least.

It was a season or two after the battle with Dark Forest when Blackstar had reported Littlecloud's death. He'd overworked himself ever since that battle, and I knew for a fact that he would be a welcome addition to Starclan's ranks. The only problem, however, was that he didn't have an apprentice.

After Blackstar had hesitantly, but surely, asked the other clans for help, Leafpool had jumped up and said that she would help Shadowclan however she could until a new medicine cat could be made. Blackstar accepted her help gratefully, though it was due to the fact that he was slowing down finally or because he truly was grateful, I'm still not sure of that.

I guessed everyone else knew how close the two were because no one opposed to the idea. Once we got back to camp I finally asked her what made them so close.

"Leafpool?"

"Yes Jayfeather?"

"Why were you and Littlecloud so close?" I felt stupid asking that question. I tried to pry into her mind, but, as usual, she was guarded. She sighed thoughtfully, and I imagined herself settling down and winding her tail around her small white paws. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because you two obviously have a close relationship, but its not like the one you have with Mothwing."

"Are you suggesting we fell in love, my young son?" There was amusement in her voice, and again I felt stupid because I really did think of that possibility.

"No, Littlecloud just seemed too sensible to fall in love."

Leafpool let out another sigh, this time more pained than thoughtful. "I wish that were true." she murmured. I could feel her gaze rest on me. "No, we didn't fall in love, but Littlecloud fell in love with someone we were both close to. He fell in love with Cinderpelt."

"Cinderpelt?" I couldn't suppress the surprise. "Why?"

"You would know why if she were still around. Littlecloud would _always_ talk about how she saved his life during the Great Sickness that raged through Shadowclan's camp back in the forest. After her death, however, he hushed about it. I had guessed it was too painful to talk about her."

"So he fell in love just because she saved him?" I asked, bewildered. It seemed like a rather immature way to fall in love. Leafpool gave another pained sigh.

"Its more complex than that, Jayfeather. Did you know that Littlecloud was a kit during Brokenstar's rein?" I shook my head. Not once had he talked about it, though now I vaguely remember asking Mousefur if anyone had survived his bloody rein, and Littlecloud's name appearing somewhere in her answer.

"Well, because of that Littlecloud was loved by few. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know what it was _like _to feel loved by someone else. But when he was cared for by Cinderpelt, I guess that just sparked something in him." Leafpool hesitated, then continued on. "Sometimes I wondered if I should tell him that she was reincarnated into Cinderheart, so that she could live the life she always wanted. It's what he always wanted to happen to her."

"So how come you didn't tell him?"

"Because I knew it would only make him upset. He wanted _Cinderpelt _to be a warrior. He wanted the cat he loved to become what she always dreamed of."

"And Cinderheart wasn't that cat he fell in love with." I concluded, feeling an ache in my heart. I was always complaining about my own life, but Littlecloud's was just..._sad. _

"But now he knows. He's watching closely over Cinderheart now in Starclan." Leafpool murmured. "And he'll be watching over her kits. That's another thing about him you probably didn't know about him. He would do _anything _to keep kits safe." I felt Leafpool's fur brush mine as she walked past me, but then she paused. "And that's another reason why we were so close."

"What is?" Leafpool gave me a gentle lick on the cheek. "He was like a father to you, always helping you and watching over you." Then she left.

I sat there in the den for a little bit after our talk, then walked out and stared up at the sky. Though I couldn't see anything, I knew his star must be one of the brightest in the sky. _Thank you, Littlecloud._


	6. The Jay and the Sky: Reminiscing

_**A request from Wolf that howls at eclipse! :D Hope you like it enough :3 This is sorta like a continuation of the previous one-shot, just cause it was what I was thinking about and made for a pretty good idea. Hope I captured your OC's personality correctly! If there's something you want me to change, just lemme know, 'kay? :3**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Skyfeather is the OC of Wolf that howls at eclipse, everything else is owned by Erin Hunter.**_

"Oh h-hi Jayfeather…" Skyfeather murmured awkwardly, her paws shifting uncomfortably as the blind medicine cat approached her. "Hello Skyfeather." His tone was friendly, though she knew as well as everyone else in the Clans that he could be a bit…_grumpy. _"How's life as Shadowclan's new medicine cat?"

"Okay I guess…" She glanced around, looking for anyone from her family that had came to the Gathering, but she couldn't detect a single one. Jayfeather cocked his head curiously at her response. "Are they treating you alright?"

"Of course they are!" Skyfeather snapped, then shrunk back a little in embarrassment. She didn't _mean _to snap like that, but there was always this protective air about her when it came to her clan, her family, and Jayfeather knew it.

When Skyfeather looked up again, she could see a sympathetic light in his blind, crystal-blue eyes. "It's odd not having Littlecloud anymore, isn't it?" The young she-cat flinched. Odd?

"Of course it's odd…" She whispered after a moment. "If anything, it's more…_painful_, I guess. I'm so used to going to him for advice, and even though I never really was his apprentice, he was just…_there._"

"I get what you mean…" Jayfeather murmured, a pained edge in his sympathetic tone. "I remember how often I'd go to him for help, and he was always willing to give it, even if our clans were at odds."

"He really was a nice cat…I miss him." Skyfeather's breath had grown shaky as she thought of her clan's beloved medicine cat. Hearing Jayfeather talk about him made her want to just curl up in a ball by stomach, just like when she was a sickly kit. "He had such a fatherly attitude about him, especially when he was with the kits."

"I know right?" Jayfeather was beginning to purr fondly. "I remember on my first trip to the Moonpool, Leafpool had offered to leave herbs at the border for him because he had run out, and Blackstar wouldn't let him ask the other medicine cats. At first I was frustrated at the thought of my mentor helping out another clan behind everyone's back, but then I got to know Littlecloud. It was no wonder she had been so kind to him. He was kind to everyone else." The gray tabby tomcat hesitated, then tipping his head inquisitively, he asked her, "What's your fondest memory of him?"

Skyfeather frowned. Fondest memory? Fondest memory… "There's a few actually. I can never decide which memory I like the most, but all of them involve him helping me and my family. Like one time when I was sick, he would let me curl up in his nest with him because I was scared of the dark."

Jayfeather's purr of amusement made her burn in embarrassment.

"Then another time when my brother was caught in a fox trap. Even though he wasn't as fit as everyone else, he still came with the warriors to help out. He would sing a lullaby to him to call him down so the warriors could get him out."

"Sing? I never knew Littlecloud could _sing_." Skyfeather purred at his surprise. Now it was _his_ turn to be embarrassed. "Only very rarely. He would sometimes sing to the kits when they had nightmares. I only know this because he did that when I was sick."

"How's the clan handling his death?" Jayfeather asked after a moment, hesitantly. He knew it wasn't his place to be asking about her clan, but if Thunderclan was also mourning Littlecloud, he was _deathly _curious about how Shadowclan was doing. Thankfully, the shy young she-cat seemed to be opening up to him more.

"It's been hard." She confessed. "A lot of mothers are taking the grief to heart. You've heard about his past, right?" When he nodded she gave a quick shrug. "Well, not only was he good with the kits, but the queens pitied him too. He never really _had_ a kithood, and they always talk about how awful that must've been."

"I think Blackstar's really beating himself up because of it though." Skyfeather added before she could stop herself. _Mousedung, _she thought. _I shouldn't have said that. _She glanced at her leader, and winced when she saw he was listening to the conversation. His eyes were soft though, and he gave a slight nod. She took a deep breath. Her elderly leader wasn't going to be around much longer. She felt a pang settle in her chest at the thought.

"Skyfeather…?" Jayfeather was waiting for her to say more.

"Blackstar blames himself for…a lot of things…he's done in the past. He was Brokenstar's deputy when Littlecloud was a kit. I don't know the full story, but I know he must have done something he regrets, something that affected Littlecloud."

Skyfeather glanced at where her leader was sitting, but he wasn't there any longer.

"Every time I think about him…" she murmured, mostly to herself. "I wonder if he ever wanted kits…"

Jayfeather gave a soft sigh. It was at that moment he was reminded of the love the Shadowclan medicine cat had for Cinderpelt. "I'm sure he did…"

When Bramblestar had called for the Gathering to start, Jayfeather settled himself next to Skyfeather. They could both feel the sun as the bird touched the sky.


	7. Sharing a Moment

_**Mistyfoot and Leopardstar share a moment before the Riverclan leader joins the ranks of Starclan. Hopefully I caught the right emotions..**_

"Mistyfoot…?" Leopardstar croaked out her deputy's name feebly as she spotted her, listing her head weakly as she did so. The gray she-cat bounded over. "You need your rest Leopardstar!" She murmured quietly though there was a sense of urgency in her tone. To her surprise, the elderly leader laughed at this, and rested her head back down on her paws. "Dear Mistyfoot," her voice was scratchy, probably because her throat was so dry. "It's too late for rest now."

Mistyfoot thought her hear would tear in half at those words. _Such a strong, noble cat… _"Mistyfoot, I need to talk to you before I join the ranks of…Starclan…"

Mistyfoot thought she detected doubt in her voice, specifically when she said Starclan, but she paid no attention. Her health came before anything else. "You need your rest!" Mistyfoot's persistence wasn't enough though as Leopardstar merely lifted her tail up slightly for silence. "Misty…I made a lot of mistakes…"

Mistyfoot was about to say something, but was silenced by the cold look in her leaders once glowing eyes. "A lot of mistakes in my leadership…" she began again. Mistyfoot shifted awkwardly as she began to listen.

"I formed Tigerclan to begin with…all because I was a love-sick, mousebrained _fool. _During that time I…I couldn't save your brother…" Leopardstar began to cough, tears slowly beginning to fall with every pain-filled spasm. "Leopardstar…" Mistyfoot snuggled close to her leader, providing whatever warmth she could. "Please…you don't have to go into that…"

"But I must…" The dappled leader's voice was barely a whisper now. "Mistyfoot…I loved him…your brother…Stonefur…he would've made such…a fine leader. But my pride…my ambition…my _fear…_"

Mistyfoot felt her as if she were being choked by her tears as her proud, brilliant leader used the word _fear._ "It got him killed…and even now…I can't…forgive…" Her breath grew more labored with every word. Mistyfoot snuggled desperately closer to her leader as if her soft fur and loving warmth would be enough to keep her alive.

"Two cats…that I loved…Whiteclaw…and…Stonefur…dead…because of…my mistakes." She looked weakly at Mistyfoot, tears streaming down her golden dappled cheeks. "I never told you…I'm sorry…"

"No sorry is needed." Mistyfoot whispered weakly, licking her leader's cheek and neck. "I loved…him…your brother…" Leopardstar closed her eyes. "I know…you will…be an excellent…leader…"

"Leopardstar…?" Mistyfoot was scared she wouldn't get a response. Frightened. Pained. And she didn't. With a shaky, grief-stricken sigh, she buried her face in her leaders once lovely pelt. "Starclan will welcome one as noble as you…" she whispered.

But she wished that her warmth really did keep her alive.


	8. Fatherly Care

**_Not as long as I'd like, but I really couldn't think of anything. BUT, it was a request and thy requests shall be done. Hope it wasn't too shabby!(I think it is, but my opinion's my own xD)_**

She was _dead. _She was _gone, _and I would _never see her again._

I could feel her father, Brackenfur, pull me away from her body. Her body, which once held so much life and beauty, was now limp. Lifeless. _Dead. _

"You should be proud of her." I heard Brackenfur murmur gently to me, as if I were a kit. _His _kit. "She saved that kit's life."

"But she's _dead!" _I growled at him, glaring at her father. How in the name of Starclan can he be so calm? She was _dead!_

His gaze didn't waver. They remained soft as he looked at me. Guilt washed over me as I realized this was his second kit he had lost, and I missed the look of a grief-stricken father in his eyes. _How cold I was, yet she still loved me._

"She always loved you." It was as if her father could read my thoughts. "I remember how often she would come to me and her mother to talk about you, to get advice. She once asked me how I fell in love with Sorreltail, and I told her it was just…meant to be." His voice cracked as he added, "She thought you two were meant to be…"

I shook my head from side to side, trying to get her out of my mind, trying to stop the sobs that threatened to come. The she-cat I loved, the she-cat I wanted to have my kits, had really loved me so much? _But now she's dead. It doesn't matter anymore._

"Sometimes it's good to let your weakness show." I felt Brackenfur rest his tail softly against my shoulder. I glared at him, but before I knew it I had my face buried in his chest, sobbing as if there was no tomorrow. _There is no tomorrow…_

Her father's tail was stroking my shoulder awkwardly, and I felt as if it wasn't just _her _father, but _mine._

"She wouldn't want you to linger in her death, Berrynose. She'd want you to move one. To live life. To be _happy."_

"But she's _dead." _I wasn't hissing anymore, I sobbed those words out. "How can I be happy?"

"By knowing she's waiting for you in Starclan, and that she'll always love you." I looked up at him. Her father, Brackenfur, looked so calm and accepting, yet so sad. So…_lost._

"We need to go sit vigil." His voice was a whisper now as he stood. His tail wrapped around my shoulders, and I let him lead me to her once beautiful, filled with life body.

Sighing I buried my face in her still soft fur. I felt something press against me and I heard her voice. Her sweet voice that said to me, "_I love you, forever and always."_


	9. Possible Prologue Silence

**Sorry for such a long wait! I'm no longer on spring break(which ended like 2 months ago...xD) And I sorta lost my groove with ALL my writings...BUT I managed to whip this up and I might actually use this as a prologue to a Littlecloud super edition type story. (I've been DYING to write out my vision of Littlecloud's life but never got the groove to do it, but I somewhat like this idea. It isn't my best writing, but the concept I have planned is fab. XD Tell me whatcha think? Enjoy! x) **

Jayfeather followed Bramblestar as they walked onto the island for the Gathering. Nerves pricked at him. This would be the first Gathering since the battle with Dark Forest. A lot of cats died, that much he knew. He could feel that Lionblaze and Cinderheart beside him were equally nervous.

"How many cats do you think will be there?" Cinderheart was asking.

"I don't know…I doubt there will be a lot. It was a tough battle. A lot of cats died, and just about everyone was injured."

"Think any other leaders died?" Silence. Jayfeather's pelt prickled with a sudden thought. Were any _medicine cats_ killed?"I know Blackstar's alive. He lost a life and I doubt they were able to take another, and I'm pretty sure Mistystar made it, since she just recently got her lives.

"True…"

The two were silenced as Bramblestar turned to address the clan. "I know everyone here is tired, but I also want you to stay on guard. We don't want to show anyone that we're weak."

"Weak?" The exclamation came from above. Lionheart and Cinderheart turned to look to see who it was, but the scratchy voice told Jayfeather it was Redfire. There was that certain anger in her voice she usually had.

"_Weak?"_ She repeated now with more scorn in her voice. "Bramblestar, of course we're _weak._ We lost our leader, we lost a queen. Mousefur died, and so did Hollyleaf. We're _weak _Bramblestar, and pretending we aren't is like a mouse pretending to be a cat."

Bramblestar stared up at her for a moment, amber eyes meeting scornful blue eyes. Finally the new leader dipped his head in defeat and indicated it was time to get moving. Redfire was the first to move, leaping to the ground and shoving her way past Bramblestar.

"Think she wishes Graystripe were leader instead of Bramblestar?" Cinderheart whispered, following the clan forward.

"Probably…they've been friends since they were kits so it wouldn't surprise me"

As Jayfeather listened to his brother and Cinderheart, he noticed that Shadowclan hadn't arrived yet. Saying a quick farewell, he bounded over to where Willowshine and Kestrelflight were.

"Greetings, Jayfeather." Willowshine sounded tired, her voice thick. Kestrelflight hardly said anything, just a simple "hello".

"Greetings," Jayfeather dipped his head politely. "Willowshine, where's Mothwing? I thought she would have come to the Gathering."

"She's resting." Willowshine broke into a yawn. "She was injured pretty badly, and it's not looking good for her either." She sounded tired, scared, beaten. Jayfeather felt his throat tighten up, wishing that the battle had never happened and laying his tail awkwardly on her shoulder for a moment.

"Anyone wonder how Littlecloud and Shadowclan are doing?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"Not me." Kestrelflight commented, sounding as if he had just realized what was taking so long. "Think they're doing okay?"

"I don't know. I heard Blackstar lost a life, but I don't know how bad the damage was to Shadowclan." Jayfeather twitched his tail anxiously. He hoped old Littlecloud was doing alright.

"Here they come now." Willowshine's voice livened with relief. "They're so few though…"

"Is Littlecloud here?" Jayfeather was almost surprised at how much concern he felt for the Shadowclan medicine cat.

"Yeah," Kestrelflight eased his fears. "But he looks exhausted, and he has quite a few claw marks on him."

"Let's go meet him." Jayfeather suggested, already making way to the small group of Shadowclan warriors. Littlecloud was next to Blackstar, talking quietly as their clan dispersed. The smell of dried blood and dirt spilled from him, telling Jayfeather that he hadn't been able to groom himself properly since the battle. Pity tore at him.

"Hello Jayfeather," Blackstar greeted, an unusually friendly tone in his voice. "Hello," Littlecloud's voice was tired and scratchy, but friendly nonetheless, and there wasn't a pained air about him though his wounds must have been sore after the journey to the island.

"How has Shadowclan been?" Willowshine had arrived, touching noses with Littlecloud and sitting beside him. Kestrelflight was still at the tree.

"As good as it can be," Littledcloud heaved a sigh and settled himself in the grass. "The battle has took its toll on us."

"Same with all clans." Jayfeather agreed, settling himself in front of his friends. "Firestar died battling Tigerstar, but he won, obviously."

"I'm sorry to hear that." The three medicine cats flinched at the unexpected sympathy from Blackstar. "If it weren't for him, none of us would be here."

"Very true," Willowshine agreed.

A soft purr sounded from Littlecloud. "I remember I first met him. It was at a Gathering and I was just a kit. He and Graystripe told me about Leopardclan."

"I remember I hated his guts."

"You've always hated his guts." Littlecloud and Blackstar purred in amusement, leaving the two younger cats bewildered as they talked about the times in the old forest.

"How many cats died?" Jayfeather found himself asking, trying to get back on a subject he knew about. There was no point in asking "did" if he knew cats died.

Littlecloud heaved a deep sigh, his head resting on his paws. Blackstar looked away, eyes narrowing. Both seemed grief-stricken. "We lost many." Blackstar murmured, and with a self conscious glance at Littlecloud, he went on to add, "We lost a litter of kits too.."

Silence. No one spoke. They mourned the loss of such young cats, none more so than Littlecloud. His face was buried in his paws and spasms of pain shot through him. Despite every wound and every ache his old body had, the only pain he allowed to show through was the pain of losing kits.

Blackstar shifted closer to his medicine cat, giving his ear a few tender licks. Jayfeather and Willowshine were amazed to see such loving care from someone they were so used to being cruel and independent.

Jayfeather turned when he heard footsteps sound behind him. Redfire was coming over to them, followed by Lionblaze and Cinderheart. Littlecloud looked up and gave his head a quick shake, trying to get rid of whatever thoughts were running through his mind.

"Greetings Lionblaze," Blackstar greeted, pulling slightly away from Littlecloud. "How have you been?"

"Good thank you." Lionblaze and Blackstar held a mutual alliance, Jayfeather guessed. After all they did work together during the battle. _Definitely has its perks if Lionblaze can continue being on Blackstar's good side. _He decided after a moment's thought.

"How are things in Shadowclan? Chase out the rest of the cats?" Redfire asked, pressing herself against her friend as if the seasons of fighting and arguing hadn't even existed. "We lost a lot of cats, but we'll get through alright." Blackstar's voice was soft, and he rubbed his muzzle against hers, a wave of relief coming off from him as he realized their old friendship was back. "Littlecloud was excellent during the battle. He protected some of our kits from Clawface. He still has that overwhelming strength he's always had, and he hasn't forgotten one battle move."

"Explains the claw marks." Redfire commented, giving the medicine cat a swift lick across the cheek.

"Most of them re-opened scars." Littlecloud purred. "Good to see that you two are back to being best friends."

"Certainly is." Jayfeather felt waves of surprise and shock came off from Littlecloud as Cinderheart spoke. Jayfeather tried to look into his thoughts, but all he could find was lost love and pain.

"I'm sorry we haven't been properly introduced have we? I'm Cinderheart."

"Littlecloud."

Littlecloud gave another shake of the head. "Cinderheart…" His voice was barely audible. "If you'll excuse me Cinderheart," he said suddenly. "I have to rest. I'm going to go ahead and take my spot by the tree."

"I'll come with you." Together Littlecloud and Willowshine walked back to the tree, Littlecloud glancing back every now and then.

"Poor old dear…" Redfire murmured. Cinderheart heaved a sigh, shaking her head. "Knew that was a bad idea…" she muttered.

"Why?" Everyone else left in the group echoed the question. Cinderheart suddenly looked awkward. "It's a long story…" She glanced at Lionblaze, looking for support. Redfire asked Blackstar if he could keep a secret, and when he nodded, Cinderheart went on to tell him that she was the reincarnation of Cinderpelt, and that Cinderplet wasn't in Starclan.

"_What?"_ A mixture of surprise, shock, and horror coursed through the Shadowclan leader. For a moment Jayfeather wondered why Blackstar felt so terrified and grieved, but it wasn't long until he got his answer. "The reason why Littlecloud is alive is because of Cinderpelt. As result he became the wise old cat we know now. He loved her too, would've died for her."

"She loved him too." Without another word Cinderheart stood and walked away. With a swift farewell Lionblaze followed her.

There was an awkward silence between the three remaining cats. "Has Littlecloud ever told you about his past life?" Redfrie asked Jayfeather, trying to get a conversation going. Jayfeather shook his head.

"Ask him. It's a tale worth listening to. From the looks of things the Gathering won't start anytime soon." Blackstar added. His tail swept past Jayfeather's nose as he and Redfire made their way to the leaders. Curiosity gnawed at him. An interesting tale? He walked over back to his friends, where Willowshine was giving Littlecloud a swift grooming, complaining about how dirty he was. Littlecloud was purring in slight amusement.

"Littlecloud," Jayfeather began. "Blackstar told me to ask you something…"

"Hmm?"

"He wants me to know about your life."

Again there was silence. Willowshine had pulled away and was looking at Jayfeather curiously. Kestrelflight also had an interested glint in his eye.

"About my life huh…?" Littleclud sighed and sat up. "I shut up about that after the badgers attacked your clan Jayfeather. Why do you want to know?"

"Blackstar just told me I should ask you. I personally think it'd be interesting to know about you anyways. Weren't you a warrior before you were a medicine cat?"

A purr escaped from Littlecloud. "Yes that's right, and it's because of your clan I'm a medicine cat now. Actually, it was your clan who saved me, on multiple occasions. I suppose it would be good of you to hear my story, and how Shadowclan aren't always the cats who hunt in the dark."


	10. Dawnpaw

**Another little thingy about one of my OC's C: Unfortunately I feel this one lacks the emotion I had in my previous chapters, but it came out all right I suppose, might have to do a rewrite though.. ANYWAYS R&R and do enjoy!**

"Littlecloud?"

"Yes Leafpaw?"

I looked down smiling at Cinderpelt's young apprentice. Her amber eyes were wide with curiosity and I knew that one of her many inquisitive questions was coming.

"Cinderpelt recently told me about your past, specifically your kithood, and if it's not too much trouble…"

"Leafpaw! What did I tell you about asking him questions about that?" Cinderpelt suddenly snapped, cutting off the rest of Leafpaw's question. Purring I glanced back fondly at her. Her blue eyes were stern as she looked at her apprentice, and again I was taken away by her understanding compassion about the subject.

"It's okay," I told her, swiping my tail affectionately past her shoulder. "What is it you want to ask Leafpaw?"

"Who was your idol at the time? Like, who did you look up to?" Her eyes widened with curiosity. I was partly relieved that this wasn't as saddening a subject as I thought it was going to be.

_Still an upsetting story though. _I thought privately, realizing just who my idol was.

"Well…" I settled myself more comfortably beside Cinderpelt. "Her name was Dreampaw, Blackstar's daughter."

"Blackstar had a daughter?" Her shocked remark made me purr in amusement.

"Yes, looked just like him too, except she was smaller and had bright blue eyes, much like Redfire's, only more…mysterious, I should say. They were different shades of blue, from very pale to the brightest color you've probably ever seen."

"I remember when I first met her. She was about to be apprenticed, and her eyes held so much excitement. You could almost see her dreams, especially when she was fascinated by something. She was a naïve young kit who believed life would be perfect…"

Cinderpelt's tail ran gently down my back as I trailed away, and I felt her shift closer to me. "You can stop now if you'd like." She murmured gently, but I shook my head. "No, Leafpaw wants to know, and I already agreed to tell her, right?" I glanced at the young apprentice. She nodded. "Of course," she added politely. "If it gets too hard to deal with, you're more than welcome to stop."

I purred at that. "You'll learn I'm never one to break what I already agreed to."

"Dawnpaw was naïve, but it didn't take her long to realize what kind of rule she was under. Like all kits, of course she wouldn't think anything of being apprenticed three moons too young. Like everyone, she was excited. As soon as training started though, she knew something was wrong. When her sparring partner unsheathed his claws that was the first thought that came to mind. _What kind of leader allows this?"_

"Like everyone else, she just went along with it, hoping that she would get by each day of bloody training. She loved playing with me and my siblings though. We would always play after she got back from training, no matter how tired she was, and even when my siblings would go to sleep, I'd stay up and talk to her. When I became an apprentice, she was horrified when she realized that I'd have to go through the same training she did."

"So she was like an older sister?" Leafpaw broke in, amber eyes twinkling, and I nodded. "I always considered her my sister…" Again I trailed off. Cinderpelt once again shifted closer to me, and her warm fur was welcome.

"She did whatever she could to protect me. She even managed to get Blackstar to help out a little. I wasn't the only one to notice though. Brokenstar was well aware of this, and when he thought Blackstar's loyalty might be slipping…he…threatened him. He told him that if he didn't prove his loyalty, then something… terrible would happen…Blackstar gave in to the threats and asked how he could prove himself loyal…"

"Brokenstar told him to come here, to Fourtrees, and wait. So he did, he waited and he listened…he only moved when he heard leaves rustle and his mates voice. They were walking past him deeper in the undergrowth. He came out to meet him, and the next words he heard were 'prove to me you're loyal by killing your mate, or I'll kill both her and the kit…"

"And he did…he slaughtered his mate right then and there, and only when it was done did he realize that Dawnpaw had been watching the whole time…she had watched her father kill her mother…"

I was trembling by now. It was all too easy for me to imagine the horror and fright Dawnpaw had. Cinderpelt's tongue grazed calmly against my shoulder. She rested her cheek against it. "You can stop." She murmured for a second time, but I continued. I wouldn't let Leafpaw get only part of the story when the ending was so near.

"Blackstar and Dawnpaw's relationship faltered, and a half moon later, Dawnpaw had enough. She pressed her muzzle against my head and told me everything. She then told me she loved me and…and she ran. Right out of camp. Warriors ran after her, but I never found out if she made it or not."

Cinderpelt's head was still resting against my shoulder, and Leafpaw looked deep in thought. I took a deep breath to settle myself, and found myself grazing my tongue against Cinderpelts ears.

"So…" Leafpaw started again. "What was the main reason you admired her so much?" I looked at her, my gaze foggy.

"Because she was the only to escape from Brokenstar."

Just then footsteps sounded, and Mudfur appeared. "About time." Cinderpelt commented, standing and giving her fur a quick shake. I shook my head of any remaining thoughts before I stood up.

"You just missed story time." My gray furred friend purred. "Littlecloud just told a wonderful story."

"Really?" Mudfur commented thoughtfully. "You'll have to tell me it on the way to Highstones."

I thought about it as we made our way out of Fourtrees, and decided against it. Instead I said, "How about the time Cinderpelt saved my life?"

The simultaneous "not again" formed a smile on my face.


End file.
